OOOhhhh Missouri

I feel like I've lost my enthusiasm for my blog. My work schedule and Steven's work schedule have been completely opposite since summer started! My days off are his days to work and vise versa. We always seem to have at least ONE day off a week together, Mondays. We have some friends over for Monday night football and I get to cook and feed those hungry boys. Last night, we had lots of guys over for enchiladas. I made 30 enchiladas!!! Steven knows how time consuming they are and always helps.

We've been really excited about Steven's parents coming out at the end of the month. They will be here from the 21st until the 28th. Then my mom will be here from November 5th until the 11th. Busy busy busy! I get to take time off work for both which is much needed.

In previous blogs posted, Novermber 18th is the day we put in for a different base. Steven and I were very excited when we first found out, and now it the stress of everything is kind of sinking in. We don't want our families to get their hopes up that we MIGHT be coming back to California and we don't want to get our hopes up, which I know I've been feeling myself. In my perfect world, we would be transfered to Beale or Travis. I would be able to go to graduate school and we would be able to buy a house. I feel a huge responsibility for myself if we did not get any bases that we wanted because we both do not want to be stuck here for 4 more years. I HAVE to find a job back home in California. Steven needs to go to school and focus on school and I'll focus on bills and work. My success, or lack there of, finding a job in Missouri was devasting to my self-worth. I'm nervous that I will have the same outcome in California, although there will be hundreds of other options because Sacramento has a population of over a million people rather than the town of Warrensburg, MO at 16,000. That's a good probablility of finiding a job right? I pray and ask God to yes, put us where we need to be, but please not Missouri, and to finally let life be easy for a bit.

Steven has spent 5 years here. It's absolutely MISERABLE here. The weather, the seclusion, the distance, and at times the people. Steven and I dated 2 1/2 years apart. I guess we've always had the hard way of going about things. Of course, I'm happy I'm finally here with him, but a huge part of me is missing and I think Steven can say the same. We need and I honestly feel that we deserve somewhere better than Missouri. I've worked so hard and so has Steven. It's hard when others don't travel a difficult path, and they have everything so easily. We just want a break. Throw us a bone!!!!! I kind of ask any of my family or friends or whomever reads my blog, to just not ask about the future with us. When we know, we will tell you. It's almost like the baby question. I get asked SOOOO often, it just overwhelms me and I am definitely overwhelmed by the next 5 months and where my life with my husband will take us. Too many possibilities and too many people to tell and rehash feelings. Love you all and all we want is to be close to our family and friends. Pray for us.