OOOhhhh Missouri

I feel like I've lost my enthusiasm for my blog. My work schedule and Steven's work schedule have been completely opposite since summer started! My days off are his days to work and vise versa. We always seem to have at least ONE day off a week together, Mondays. We have some friends over for Monday night football and I get to cook and feed those hungry boys. Last night, we had lots of guys over for enchiladas. I made 30 enchiladas!!! Steven knows how time consuming they are and always helps.

We've been really excited about Steven's parents coming out at the end of the month. They will be here from the 21st until the 28th. Then my mom will be here from November 5th until the 11th. Busy busy busy! I get to take time off work for both which is much needed.

In previous blogs posted, Novermber 18th is the day we put in for a different base. Steven and I were very excited when we first found out, and now it the stress of everything is kind of sinking in. We don't want our families to get their hopes up that we MIGHT be coming back to California and we don't want to get our hopes up, which I know I've been feeling myself. In my perfect world, we would be transfered to Beale or Travis. I would be able to go to graduate school and we would be able to buy a house. I feel a huge responsibility for myself if we did not get any bases that we wanted because we both do not want to be stuck here for 4 more years. I HAVE to find a job back home in California. Steven needs to go to school and focus on school and I'll focus on bills and work. My success, or lack there of, finding a job in Missouri was devasting to my self-worth. I'm nervous that I will have the same outcome in California, although there will be hundreds of other options because Sacramento has a population of over a million people rather than the town of Warrensburg, MO at 16,000. That's a good probablility of finiding a job right? I pray and ask God to yes, put us where we need to be, but please not Missouri, and to finally let life be easy for a bit.

Steven has spent 5 years here. It's absolutely MISERABLE here. The weather, the seclusion, the distance, and at times the people. Steven and I dated 2 1/2 years apart. I guess we've always had the hard way of going about things. Of course, I'm happy I'm finally here with him, but a huge part of me is missing and I think Steven can say the same. We need and I honestly feel that we deserve somewhere better than Missouri. I've worked so hard and so has Steven. It's hard when others don't travel a difficult path, and they have everything so easily. We just want a break. Throw us a bone!!!!! I kind of ask any of my family or friends or whomever reads my blog, to just not ask about the future with us. When we know, we will tell you. It's almost like the baby question. I get asked SOOOO often, it just overwhelms me and I am definitely overwhelmed by the next 5 months and where my life with my husband will take us. Too many possibilities and too many people to tell and rehash feelings. Love you all and all we want is to be close to our family and friends. Pray for us.

Pink October

To be completely honest, my life was turned upside-down in March. My Aunt Meredith or Aunt Mer to me or Aunt Meredif from her little nephew Ryan, was diagnosed with breast cancer. Everyone hears about someone they know who knows someone who has had cancer. When it hits someone close to you, it seriously knocks the wind out of you. I never thought for a second that she was going to not be here anymore, but all I knew was that I didn't want her to go through treatment or feel sick or mostly to lose her hair. I remember talking to her when she first found out and just having her telling me exactly what was going to happen helped me relax. I know my aunt is an ass kicker, and she's a fighter!!!!
From the beginning I had told Steven that I wanted to cut my hair. I had thought about it for years, but never did it. I had the biggest reason to do it this time. I only wish I could see the young girl my hair went to or be able to just give it to my aunt. It hit me incredibly hard that she needed chemo. Chemo=hair loss. I had to be supportive and not show her or lead on to how upset I was really feeling about all this.
I was the flower girl in her wedding to my Uncle Mark. She played Barbies with me. She always had the most amazing outfits on and always new what the coolest thing was right now. She was my cool, hip aunt who I looked up to, and still do. She flew in from L.A. just for the day for my bridal shower and was close by at my wedding. Growing up and becoming a young woman I've looked up to her so much. She's driven, successful is an understatement, gorgeous, sweet, caring, kind, smart, hilarious, giving, and she spoils me rotten, which I really don't deserve, but I thank her for every little thing because I'm so grateful for her.
I was really excited to see her in June when Steven and I went home for 2 weeks. I was nervous to see my aunt. I didn't know what kind of state she would be in. My Uncle Tim and her picked me up from the airport and she looked exactly the same, just with a do-rag on her head. I couldn't help but to cry. I worried myself so much about her and she was exactly the same. I was so happy just to finally hug and see her. I had a fantastic time as always in Venice.

We wore do-rags all around, ate amazing food as always, and just hung out on the couch. I needed that trip to make sure she was okay. I know I can't do much for her or anyone who is sick back home, reguardless where I live, but seeing her was just amazing. Nothing had changed. She was still my Aunt Mer. 
August 25th, was her last day of chemo. My birthday is on the 27th. Greatest birthday gift I could ever ask for. This week she started radiation. 5 days a week for 7 weeks.

Check the girls no matter how young you are.Wear pink!!! Eat yogurt and donate lids. Walk, run, or bike for the cure!  And yes, real men wear pink! Too many women and families have to hurt because of cancer and we need a cure ASAP!

Love you Aunt Mer <3 

Do-Rag Club Active Member :P

Goodbye September

Steven and I haven't been up to much lately. Lots of work work WORK! Steven's parents are coming at the end of October, so it's given me an excuse to FINALLY decorate our guestroom and the kitchen a little. Must say it was a blast! I'd been feeling a little blue, so it kept me busy and brought me joy.
I've been feeling really great lately! My adjustment to Missouri has not been an easy one. It's been quite depressing with not really having any friends. Being far away from family when things happen breaks my heart. It's also taken a toll on my selfworth. I thought I would have a better shot with the job market with my degree, reguardless of the economy, but with the next town down the highway, Warrensburg, that's population is 16,000, there's not much to choose from. I am very grateful for my job, but of course, I don't EVER want to work retail again!
NOVEMBER 18th is the date that Steven gets to put in for a base of preference! First round we are putting in for Travis and Beale in California. We will hear back within a week or two. If we don't get it, then we will try for bases in Washington, Colorado, and Idaho. Anywhere WEST!!! So hopefully, by Christmas we will have great news for our family. I know everyone wants us closer. I'm hoping that if we get a base of preference I can start grad school, fingers crossed, in Fall of 2012! Makes my heart smile just typing that! Working crummy jobs, drives me even harder to further my education. It's not a secret how deeply I want a family, but I never want to worry about money and I want the best for Steven and I and our family. I want my children to go to college and be successful! Steven will also be able to finish his Bachelor's Degree, which is extremely important to me. I know how great it feels to have that accomplished, reguardless of where my degree has taken me now. My Grandma Sandy has always told me, that no one can take your education away from you. It's a comforting feeling.

Boobdate

It's been SO crazy with work but here's an update...or a boobdate about...the girls! September 1st, I had two of my cysts drained. It went very well and helped to have Steven there. I don't do well at all with needles, but I focused on breathing and trying to stay calm. I didn't really feel anything until she hit a nerve. The fluids were sent to the lab and they came back benign which we all knew, but that's always good news! Today, I went back for the other boob. Depending on my cycle the cysts are different sizes, so they were bothering me last week. She did a quick breast exam on both boobs. Right boob she was even amazed at how well they felt. NOOOO CYSTS! Lefty had a small cyst that was pretty hard that she removed no prob, but the other one was an inch long and very flat. She used the ultrasound machine and it was kind of an ordeal but I stayed calm and it was over soon! The fluids also are getting sent to the lab and I should hear back soon. Ultrasound again in November and then a check up with Dr. Switzner soon after to make sure everthing is looking great still! Dr.Switzner is such a great doctor! Thank goodness for helping me and my girls! In good spirits and feeling well, tomorrow I'll definitely be sore but feeling positive with having the cysts gone!

Boobs suck. *Girls Only Blog*

As most of you know, I have been having problems with my breasts. In the end of April, I found a lump on my right breast. I immediately called my doctor.(because Lardie girls are smart, right Aunt Mer?)  It didn't even dawn on my to check my other breast until two days later, but I found two lumps in that one. After seeing that doctor a week later, she told me that they were cysts, but she wanted me to go to the Western Missouri Medical Clinic in Warrensburg and get an ultrasound done. Kind of nervous about that of course. So knowing me, I googled it. (I GOOGLE EVERYTHING!) So it's exactly like getting an ultrasound on your tummy if your pregnant. I can do that! A couple weeks later, I went to get my ultrasound done. I'm always nervous when I go to the doctor. In the waiting room, I'm the only one who was not pregnant and here to see their child growing inside of them. I'm 23, and have lumps all over my breasts. Yes, I would of rather been there not being scared and there for happy news. Even more of a blow to my feelings with the situation. It's devastating to me to want to have a family, but here for unpleasant news.
My ultrasound tech was super nice with eased my nervousness. After examining me and taking pictures and measuring the sizes of all my cysts in my right breast she moved onto my left breast. All she said was that my breasts were covered with cysts. I kind of lost it. I've always hated the size of my breasts. Nothing ever fits my right because I'm so flat chested. I finally get comfortable and accept having tiny boobs, and now you throw in lumping?! Wow, my self-esteem is soaring!

It was really hard to hear it at first, but it sank in and cysts aren't harmful, they are just a pain in the butt! My nurse at the clinic on base wanted me to rechecked in 6 months with another ultrasound. I've been having sharp pains in my breast and armpits so she sent me to a surgeon to get a second opinion and just get more information.
She looked at my DVD of cysts from the hospital and totally ruled out cancer. They were all black, meaning they were full of fluid which is good. She asked if I wanted to drain them since they were causing me pain. I opted out that day because I'm a chicken when I comes to needs and I would of felt more comfortable if I wasn't behind the wheel. I pass out when getting blood tests. Dr. S. believes it has a lot to do with my birth control pills because I'm tried so many since I'm moved here or because my grandmother has fibrocystic breast disease, it could possible just be in my genetics. Oh well, I'm staying positive now, and I've had some time to process it. In September, I'm going to have some of the cysts drained and hopefully that will help my discomfort. Praying as well that they don't fill right back up! I'm waiting until Steven is done with ALS because I don't really have anyone to drive me, Miss Daisy, around and watch over me, just to be on the safe side!
SO, the moral of this blog, ladies, doesn't matter how young you are, please check the girls out. If you feel anything unusual go to the doctor ASAP! I'll keep everyone updated after I get them drained.

Staff Sergeant Garcia?

Steven was asked to go to ALS (Airman Leadership School) this month. Usually they ask airmen who have already passed their staff sergeant test, but of course, Steven is an excellent firefighter and airmen, so they sent him early. Steven tested last year for staff and didn't pass, but we will find out next week if he passed. The testing is kind of weird to me. You take two tests, one on AF history and one is job specific, and the rest of the decision for you to rank up, is how active you've been with you AF career. How many deployments you've been on, years in service, and all other kinds of stuff. I'm proud of Steven either way and he would be an EXCELLENT staff sergeant because he basically oversees guys at work anyway. It's kind of a catch 22 with making staff. After you make staff, you get a line number. Until your number is I guess activated, you are still a Senior Airman. It usually takes a year for you to put on staff/ your number to be called. Steven's job is overcrowded with Staff Sergeants, and many of the guys that finally get activated get forcefully re-classed, meaning they are forced to retrain in a new job, and not do firefighting and meaning sending you off to a different base. Making staff is an honor, but it's short lived in your current job. We have a lot of thinking to do in the next couple of months. Steven has the date of November 18th, where we can put in for our base of preference! California, Idaho, and Colorado are the states where the bases we can are located. If there is room for Steven there at any of those 6 bases, then we will be moving in a matter of months after November. If the first round of trying gets denied and all the bases are full, we have to wait 3 months to try again for the same bases and hopefully something will turn up available. Long process, and who knows, Steven might decide to retrain for a new job, so we might have a better chance to stay in and be closer to home. There is still a huge possibility we could move back home to Sacramento as well. We have more options than two people could have, but we will make the one that is best for us and the future we want to have. Steven still needs to finish school and I still want to go to graduate school. Staying in would allow us to get both of our educations finished for free. YES! For frrrreeeeeeeeeeeeee. (like Adam Sandler in Bedtime Stories.) We will keep everyone updated on everything once we know more. In a perfect world, I pray for us to be able to go to a base that we would want and be stationed closer to our families, to both finish school, and start thinking about having a family.

Cali boy in Colorado

Last Friday, Steven got some time off from work to take a VERY LONG road trip to Colorado to mountain bike. He had a blast, but with the excessive heat warning and temperatures feeling like 110, I decided to lay low and do my late spring cleaning! I had the weekend off from work with the exception of a "5 hour move the store around" day on Sunday. I shampooed the entire house minus one room, rearranged rooms, got rid of some old furniture and cleaned anything in my way! I also decided since we had to be at work at 7 a.m on Sunday, that I should make my boys some goodies.

Fresh blueberry scones!!! They were sooo amazing! I also made some cranberry-orange muffins as well!

Tonight, I continued being Susie Homemaker and made an OLD family recipe. It's my great-great grandmother's mac and cheese recipe from my mom's family! I grew up on this version of mac and cheese, and so will my kids one day!

The players.

Start by making a classic white sauce. (melted butter, flour, and milk) When it gets thick, add that cheese!!

Cheese heaven!!!

The secret ingredient!!!

Mac meet cheese and tomato soup! YUM!!! It sounds different, but it's absolutely AMAZING!!!! Hope this makes everyones mouth water!